everything

if anything was any different from now,

i would wish for this.

with you.

a

king

a king, the feeling you have made me into,
an empire i shall build for you.

a

"one": inspired by a conversation with yasmin ahmad

like how one simple song can transform moods,
how one common word can trigger many emotions,
how one single thought item can generate a plethora of ideas;
it only takes one person to inspire thousands.

rest in peace, yasmin.
(1958-2009)
...and we just hold on.

a

200709

life as you know it keeps on intensifying, but yet
i still seek for the possibility that's disappearing, coz at
zero-gravity when i'm with you is still one of the best
things, i've ever had.





a

i dream in 3D

“We shape our buildings; thereafter they shape us.”

realisation

initially my days with or without you were thought to be irrelevant,
thoughts at first seemed insignificant,
but now i quickly realise the real, the unconquerable and the unbeatable

- that i'm only in denial.

a

collision

ideally, should two minds collide, energy is exchanged and therefore change should be inevitable.

when the emotions of two individuals sum up into one, a new distinct emotion should come into being.

so only when there's collision that causes fusion involving the mind and emotions between two individuals, we'll start encountering the process of immortalisation that we all instinctively seek.

a

lovers' equilibrium

a

journal entry #98

i'm here and you're there. and our heads are everywhere. and this is beyond repair - because about us, i don't think nature cares.

but we can't really let go. we're dangerously enjoying the ride, though. just going wherever, to whatever direction it flows.

so leave, and i'll leave. but can we really?

a

experience

"...life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on..."
samuel butler

a

as zero hour amplifies reasons

a

melodic words: part three

"and how in the world did you come / to be such a lazy love?"

sleeping? / glen hansard

"there's no point trying to fight it / when your mind's made up.
so, if you ever want something / and you call / then i'll come running."
when your mind's made up / glen hansard

transitions

a few times in our lives, we encounter moments where significant life changing decisions will have to be made. whether it be out of a mind-boggling dilemma, or something that you don't have to think twice about, these are times of meeting with life's turning points. points where it would set a new tangent in your journey, whether the unknown outcome be for the worse or better. this thought process while we experience these life-changing phases is part of our journey's transition: a psychological limbo.

of course, whatever decision we make is always based on a positive outcome, but because the human evolutional state is not as advanced as we'd like it to be, there is going to be an extent of uncertainty that comes along with going into a new place. this transitional period involving the mind moving at no less than 1000km/hr, usually contains a designer-drug-like concoction of emotions: some exciting, some motivating, with a touch of leftover feeling of the current life thats about to be history, and that occasional anxiety of entering something that may be of unfamiliar territory.

that said, we're not filing this under anything adverse, or even anything good for that matter. we're just acknowledging it of it's existence. this psychological 'waiting time' usually feels seemingly empty but the brain probably subconsciously rides through this period reflecting on the recent past, and preparing itself of the relatively unknown near-future - thus explaining the possible unfamiliar behaviours, emotions and thoughts during the transition.

we feel it, we can't avoid it, we go through it. but how do we handle it? i say, embrace this exciting transitional state-of-mind while it lasts, and congratulations on your decision.

a

lost for words

and i really don't know what to feel right now

because you're not here

and our words are reduced to mere static noises

what piano sonata should i write to hear you sing

for my strums on the guitar are wearing thin,

because as long as the music is not heard

my universe would be without words.

a

let the breeze in

a

melodic words: part two

"oily marks appear on walls where pleasure moments hung before"
hide and seek / imogen heap



"thank god for mom and dad for sticking two together 'cause we don't know how"
hey ya / outkast



"i am covered in skin, no one gets to come in"
colorblind / counting crows

If you were a stranger.....

Would I still find solace in your charm?
Would I notice the gleam in your eyes?
Would I be affected by your every move?
Or would I experience a strong aura, baffled by the emanation.

If you were a stranger asking for the time,
Would I move my glance away from the watch,
To notice the beauty of your mind.
Would I be oblivious to your gentle voice,
Would I simply be too consumed in the pulling effect,
wondering if my prescription needed change...

If you were a stranger, I would be bound to meet you in time.
It would feel like I've found what I had lost,
It would make dreams transcend with reality
To be finally and formally reaquainted
with the stranger who was never a stranger after all.

....I didn't know where all the frustration was leading to but I was determined to get to the Finish line. I reckon that I'd do better at 100 m dashes but I knew how some preserverence can pay off a great deal. So assured of this,was I prepared to embrace all the anguish...

Little did I realize that restoring faith one too many times not only require an enormous amount of strength, but also a hint of courage. With the flicker of hope I had left in me,I kept going and not realize that I was already past the Finish line...

....and I still keep going...

box: a manifesto

i've always been fascinated with the age-old concept of 'thinking outside the box'. more often than not, this mentality has been responsible for bringing out the freshest, the most innovative and the revolutionary. getting outside the comfort zone had been the (almost sure-shot) solution to challenge oneself.

all is well, BUT, of course, the problem now is, we live in a modern world where 'strive to be different' has become such a norm to the point of cliche. 'avant garde' is becoming as common as sex on valentine's day. suddenly, it's not so special anymore. suddenly, everyone seems to be thinking outside the box.

so how do keep ourselves hovered in a world of heavy air traffic? how do we stand out in a pallette of bright colours? we should always get inspired by the difficult, but when everything else has become too easy, how do we challenge ourselves in a place where 'comfort' has already been residing outside the common 'zone'?

welcome: the box - the very thing that we've been reared to get out of. the psychology of true innovation in the brave new world now is back in the box. where competition is high in that space outside the box, the real challenge now is to be inside the box and still giving those ideals outside a run for their money.

the theory is simple: 'avant garde' and 'different' has always had the cool factor, but has a history of alienating the mainstream. the ultimate idealogy now then lies in developing the same avant garde BUT at the same time preserving mass wide appreciation at most if not, all levels. this is the very concept of staying inside the box while competing with people outside the box, and if you can succeed doing this, you've just pushed the boundaries to another whole dimension, for yourself and everything else associated with it.

'thinking outside the box' is easy enough these days. it's achieving what's outside the box while being 'inside' and having all this limitations, is the new real challenge.

a

Stimuli

In between the realms of reality & lucid dreams,
i pinch myself hard at trying to encumber all sense of the current.
just a moment ago i had been intertwined with the harshness
of the heat and the stench of perspiration,
and now i am witnessing the cool breeze that awakens my spirit;
which had been in slumber for far too long.

Familiar grounds..

Things do not seem as foreign as I expected,
yet my exhaustion does not permit my excitement to take form.
Maybe because i know this is not rightfully mine

But even if so,
Just feels like I've never left...